another moral hangover. fuck.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize