your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I need to stop coming to work sober
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
