my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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