I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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