He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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