I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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