umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
