U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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