some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
