Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
