Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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