i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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