She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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