how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
