well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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