Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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