My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
