This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
