So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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