Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
