my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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