I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
