Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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