Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
