Having a random hookup so left but love u
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
