Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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