she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
