I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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