just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
