So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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