He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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