Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I could make wine with my vomit
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
