So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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