A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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