I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
