My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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