eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
