New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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