These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
