Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
