Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
