you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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