how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
