Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
