At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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