Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
