dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
