you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
