I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
