New low: just hacked my moms facebook
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Found the puke drawer
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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