My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
