We're facebook friends in real life
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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