big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
