had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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