you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
