so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
