Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
