I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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