it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
