I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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