She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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