Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
