True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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