just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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