Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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