I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm bleeding and have questions
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
